"Cassie, please," Samantha Carter pleaded as she followed eighteen-year old Cassandra Frasier down the stairs and into the foyer of the house.

"Leave me alone, Sam."

"Cassie, we love you. We just want to help...."

"I don't need your help and I don't need another mother. I've already had two. I think that's more than enough. And I don't need your love either. Just leave me alone!"

"Cassie," came another voice from the living room. She turned to face Jack O'Neill, dimly aware of the other two men standing behind him.

"I'm going for a walk, Jack. Alone."

"Cassie, it's dark and it's late," Sam begged.

"I can take care of myself," she replied as she grabbed her coat off the rack.

"You don't have to, Cass," Jack responded.

She turned to glare at him. "Yes, I do," she said firmly. "Can you all please just leave me alone!" With that, she flung open the door and practically ran across the porch and down the steps to disappear into the darkness.

Sam turned to face Jack. "Colonel..."

"I'll go after her," he replied and took a step toward the door.

"No, Jack," came a quiet voice from behind him. "Let me."

Jack turned and met a pair of tortured blue eyes. Years of knowing one another and working together had finely honed the almost uncanny ability these two men had always had of reading each other. They could carry on entire debates without uttering a single word, although their verbal confrontations were also legend. In this instance, however, there was no debate. Just a silent plea from one and an acknowledgment from the other as Jack nodded.

Dr. Daniel Jackson grabbed his coat and followed Cassandra out the door.

Sam turned overly bright eyes toward Jack. "Sir..."

"Let Daniel handle it."

"But..."

"O'Neill is correct, Major Carter," Teal'c said quietly. "Daniel Jackson is best suited for this task. He... understands."

Jack nodded sadly. "Yes, he does. And I think he needs to be the one to be there for Cassie right now. As much for himself as for her."

Sam's shoulders sagged as she nodded in defeat.

"Cassandra did not mean to be cruel, Major Carter," Teal'c told her, placing a comforting hand on her arm. "It is her pain that speaks. Daniel Jackson will be able to help her."

Sam took a shaky breath. "I hope so."

Daniel stood for several minutes just watching the young woman sitting on the park bench, her hands tightly clutching the edges of the seat, her eyes squeezed shut, fighting the emotional battle that waged inside her. He knew this battle well. He had fought it himself more than once. Steeling himself to face the demons he knew were lurking inside his own soul, he stepped out of the shadows and moved closer until he stood directly in front of Cassandra.

"Hey."

Cassie's head came up at the sound of his voice, then instantly dropped back down, her eyes focused on the knees of her blue jeans. "Like I told Sam, I want to be alone."

"I know. But I want to be here with you. Guess we have a conflict of wants."

"Go away, Daniel."

"Can't do that, Cass."

"Won't you mean."

A ghost of a smile touched Daniel's lips. "Yeah, well, I'm stubborn like that." He moved to sit on the bench beside her, his own hand resting on the wood just a fraction of an inch from Cassie's, but carefully not touching.

"You can't make me talk to you."

Or look at me, Daniel thought, as Cassie stubbornly refused to turn toward him as she spoke. "No, I can't."

"So?"

"So what?"

"So why don't you just leave?"

"Don't want to. Besides, I can't."

That earned him a flickering glance before she looked away again. "Why can't you?"

"Well, for one thing, because I made a promise."

"To who?"

"Oh, to a friend of mine. A lost, kinda lonely little girl who had just come to live in a world that was very strange to her. She didn't think anyone could understand what that felt like, but we talked a while and found out we had a lot of things in common. I made a promise that I'd always listen to her when she needed someone to talk to."

"Well, I don't." She replied firmly.

"I think you will... eventually. So, I figure I'll just wait here until you're ready."

He trained his gaze into the darkness before him, but he noticed the slight shift of her head in his direction. "What if I said I released you from that promise?"

"Doesn't matter."

"Why not? Maybe I wanted you to talk to then and I don't now."

Daniel tilted his head as if considering the idea. "That's possible. But it doesn't matter because that's not the only reason I can't leave."

This time, she did look at him. "What's the other reason?"

He turned and met her eyes. "Because I love you."

Her hands immediately came up, waving away the words. "Don't! Just... don't."

"Why not?" he asked quietly.

"Because the people I love die."

Daniel nodded. "Yeah, I know. Me too."

Cassie blinked in surprise, staring at Daniel for a moment before she found her voice. "What? You're not gonna tell me it isn't true?"

"Nope."

"Sam did."

"So, you got angry with her and ran away."

Cassie grabbed hold of the bench again. "She doesn't understand how I feel."

"Do you?" This time, there was no response. "Cassie, I'm not going to sit here and try to tell you that you're wrong because you aren't. People aren't immortal; they die. If you love people, then it's kind of inevitable that you're going to lose them. So, in simplest terms, you're right. The people you love die. Problem is, it's never that simple. Life's never that simple. See, I've had more time to think this all through than you have. First, you're assuming that it's because you love them that they died. It isn't. It just happens that some people lose more than their share of the people they love way too soon, and we just happen to be two of those people."

"It isn't fair."

"Nope. But the words 'life' and 'fair' don't really function together in the same sentence. If life was fair, you'd still be living on the planet where you were born with your first family. Your parents, your brothers and sisters, and your friends, they didn't die because you loved them. They died because someone evil used the power she had to destroy their lives to satisfy her own ends. It was senseless and it was cruel, but it wasn't your fault. Just like your mom's death isn't your fault."

There was a long silence before Cassie spoke again. "That doesn't make the hurting stop."

"I know. Believe me, Cassie, I understand that. Letting yourself love and be loved opens the door to a world of hurt, and when you lose someone you love, it hurts so bad you feel like you can't even breathe. You start to think if you shut yourself off from love, you'll shut away the pain. But the truth is you're only shutting it inside, and it just keeps hurting and hurting. And when you close yourself off from love, you're denying the very thing that can make that pain bearable. Love can bring pain, but it also brings joy and wonder and hope and comfort and strength. Don't deny yourself those things, Cassie."

"I can't help how I feel."

"I know you can't. None of us can. And I know how hard it is to see past the hurt, but ultimately, you don't really have a choice. It's too late. We already love you, and we aren't going to stop loving you. And I think you love us too, or you wouldn't be trying so hard to push us all away. Denying love won't heal the hurt, it will only make it worse." Very gently, he rested his hand over hers. "Trust me, Cassie. I've never lied to you."

Tear filled eyes looked up at him. "No, you haven't." He brushed his free hand over her hair. "Daniel?"

"What is it, Cass?"

"Why her? Why did she have to die?" Daniel grew very still. "Don't tell me it was because she was just doing her job - her... duty. Don't tell me that life isn't fair, because that isn't an answer. It isn't enough. It just isn't."

Daniel squeezed his eyes closed, fighting against a sudden panic tightening his own chest. "God, Cass. The truth is, I don't... I was there. Right there when it happened. And I still don't know...." He swallowed hard. "Every time I close my eyes, I see it happening."

"Tell me."

"No, Cassie, I don't want you to..."

"I'm not a little girl anymore, Daniel. I need to understand. And platitudes won't cut it. You were right. You've never lied to me. When I've asked for the truth, I've always known that you would tell me." Her eyes flashed at him in anger. "Tell me now!"

"I don't know why!" he shouted. "I promised you the truth, Cass, but I don't have all the answers. I'm not sure I really have any answers. I can't tell you what I don't know. You think I haven't asked myself that same question? Of all the people on that battlefield, why did it have to be Janet? And I don't know the answer. No matter how many times I go over it in my mind, I don't know why." Suddenly he was on his feet, pacing back and forth in front of her, trembling hands brushing through his hair as the words came out in a rush.

"It all happened so fast. We found Wells on an incline near the bottom of a ravine. He'd been shot in the back. The staff blast went clean through. He was losing a lot of blood. We turned him over and Janet started working on him immediately to stop the bleeding. I was talking to him. Trying to distract him from the pain, from the fear. I asked him about his family. He told me his wife was expecting a baby - their first child. He thought he was going to die before he had the chance to see his son. He wanted to tell his wife... He asked me... I looked at Janet. I could see it in her eyes. She didn't know if she could save him. So I pulled out my camera so he could talk to his wife. Send her a message. He started, but he was in so much pain. He was suddenly afraid that she would see him die. He didn't want her to see him die like that. He told me to turn the camera off."

He stopped pacing, turning to look down at Cassie, the pain of the vivid memory blazing from his eyes even in the darkness. "That's when your mom told him he wasn't going to die. She hadn't come all the way out there to let him die. She wouldn't let him give up. God, how many times have I heard her say those words... to Jack or Sam or Teal'c? To me? Janet never gave up, and she never let the rest of us give up either. Then suddenly I heard the blast and saw a flash of light through the lens and...." His hands clenched into fists as the image that had filled his nightmares, both waking and sleeping, leapt unbearably hard and clear into his mind. Janet. Lying on the grass. Eyes open but empty. Smoke rising from her chest. Accompanying the image was the sound of his own voice screaming for a medic even as he knew it was already too late.

"God, Cass. She was right there next to me. If she hadn't come on the mission... if it had been some other doctor... But then there'd be someone else asking the same questions. Some other daughter or a son or wife or husband or parent wondering why it had to be the person they loved that died. It wouldn't make it any more fair. It isn't an answer. I'm sorry."

Sinking down next to her once again, he wrapped his arms tightly around his body. "The truth is, Cassie, there's a part of me that is afraid to know the answer. I was there. Right there. There should have been something I could have done. What if I'd been on Airman Well's left side instead of his right? Would I have seen the Jaffa before he fired? Could I have stopped him before he got off the shot? If I'd had a gun in my hand instead of a damned camera... God, Cassie, if I'd been kneeling where she was instead, maybe I'd be the one who died and not her. I wish..."

"No!" She grabbed his fist. "Don't wish that. Don't ever wish that. It isn't what she'd want and you know it. And it isn't what I'd want either."

"But she had so much more reason to live than..."

"No." She forced the fingers of his fist free and threaded her own between them, clasping his hand firmly. "Look at me, Daniel." When he did, they both saw tears glistening on each other's cheeks. "I remember a night, almost two years ago. Mom..." her voice trembled as she said the name. "Mom came home late. She'd been on the base for days. It wasn't all that uncommon, but the minute I saw her face... I could always see it in her eyes when she'd lost someone. To her, it was always personal. But I knew this time, it was really, really bad. She told me what happened, and we sat on the sofa and cried in each other's arms until the sun came up. The only comfort we had was in believing you weren't dead, that in some form, you were still out there somewhere. But dead or ascended, you were gone, and we were afraid we'd never see you again. We'd lost you from our lives. And what hurt her the worst was knowing that she'd had to watch you suffer and die and there hadn't been a damned thing she could do about it. She would have done anything, Daniel, anything to save you. Just like I know you would have done anything to save her. Saving people is what she did. That's who she was. She'd never have wanted you to die in her place."

As Daniel squeezed his eyes closed and took a trembling breath, Cassie smiled. "I know. It hurts. 'Love hurts.'" She saw his lips twitch at her feeding his own words back to him. "We're your family and you're ours, and it hurts. And I wish to God it could be different. I don't want her to be dead. I loved her so much. But I remember now. You made me remember, Daniel, and it doesn't make it right and it doesn't make it easy and it still hurts, but now... now I think I understand a little better."

Daniel's blue eyes met hers, and she saw beneath the pain an echo of her own realization.

"Mom wasn't a soldier. She didn't carry a gun. She never killed anyone. She fought for life. All life. Her enemies weren't people, they were pain and disease and suffering and death. And she threw every bit of herself into that battle. She didn't go to that planet to take lives. She went there to save one."

Daniel smiled "And she did." Cassie nodded. "Because of her, Simon Wells' son won't have to grow up never knowing his father. She met death on the battlefield, but she didn't lose. She won." He shook his head in amazement. "I don't think I really understood that when Sam read those names at the memorial service, but I do now. All those times, with all those people. Battles she won. We're all alive because she fought for us and never gave up. And as long as we're alive and remember...."

"She'll be smiling."

Daniel laughed as he wiped his hand across his face. "Smiling? No, I think she's somewhere standing with her arms folded in front of her, tapping her foot and shaking her head at us and saying, 'You nitwits! Took you long enough to figure it out!'"

Cassie chuckled through her tears. "You're right. You are so right."

Daniel gathered her into his arms. "Don't ever pull away from us, Cassie. We need you as much as you need us. We're family."

"Yes, we are. Thanks, Daniel."

"Thank you, Cass." After a few moments, Daniel's hands moved to caress the sides of her face. "Now, I think it's time we headed back. I'm sure the rest of our family is worried sick about us."

Cassie's eyes widened. "Oh, God, Sam! I was so mean to her."

"She'll understand. She loves you."

"And I love her. And Jack and Teal'c. And I love you, Daniel."

"Even if it's scary? Even if sometimes, it hurts? There are no guarantees, Cass. Are you ready to take that chance?"

"I'm terrified, actually," she admitted. "But some things - some people - are worth the risk."

"Yes, they are." He pressed his lips to her forehead. "Come on. Let's go home."

"Hey."

Sitting on the side of her bed, Cassie looked up to see Daniel standing in the open doorway. "Hey."

"Sam said you were up here. Whatcha doin'?"

"Remembering." She patted the bedcovers next to her.

"Yeah?" He asked as he sank down at her side and gazed at the opened photo album spread across her lap. He looked up at Cassie's face, his eyes narrowing in concern. "You okay?"

She nodded. "It still hurts, but the good memories are starting to make it a little easier." Daniel's arm moved around her back and she leaned her head against his shoulder. "See these? This was the summer when I was fourteen. We were playing out in the backyard with my dog Jack."

Daniel laughed, his mind flashing back to the day his friend had given the dog to Cassie telling her it was an Earth rule that all kids had to have a dog. He could still recall the look on his friend's face when Cassie had decided to name the dog after him.

Turning his attention to the album, his eyes immediately fell on a photograph of Janet, lying on a carpet of green grass, her eyes squeezed closed and her mouth open wide in uproarious laughter as she tried to fend off the canine tongue intent on swiping its way across her face. His throat tightened for a moment, then he felt the image before him imprinting itself in his mind, replacing the one that had burned its way into his nightmares for the past few weeks. An echo of the doctor's laughter drowning out the frantic cries for help.

Daniel couldn't help but smile. Even now, Dr. Janet Frasier was helping him heal.

"So, what have you been up to?" Cassie asked.

"Visiting a new friend and his family."

"Really?"

Daniel nodded. "Their house isn't all that far from here. I think you should meet them. They're going to be needing a babysitter soon for their new addition."

"A baby? Cool. What's its name?"

Daniel grinned. "Why don't you come with me and I'll let them tell you?"

When Cassie raised an eyebrow that would have made Teal'c proud, Daniel laughed.

"Trust me, Cassie."

She pecked a kiss against his cheek. "Always, Daniel. Always."

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